Tag Archives: Wellmess Blog

Why we sabotage our own success


Most of us strive our entire careers to get “that one big job” or to land that “one big client”. We work long, hard hours, giving up weekends and evenings to get into a position where we will be successful and then sometimes we start doubting ourselves and our self worth.

This is a very normal human response however contradictory it sounds. We are afraid of being hurt or disappointed. We naturally want to protect ourselves from harm. We build strong psychological walls for ourselves and use self-talk to guard against hurt.

Here’s how the conversation with yourself usually goes….”Don’t get your hopes up. When something goes wrong (and it will…it always does) at least you won’t be surprised. You really don’t deserve this success….you were getting too optimistic….don’t get your hopes up.”

We all have these incredible damaging conversations with ourselves. We’ve trained our brains to send these messages when we start getting close to something we’ve worked very hard to achieve. Our parents, teachers, spouses and others who care about us reinforces these self-fulfilling prophecies because they don’t want to see us get hurt should things not work out in our favor.

Here’s the challenge for most of us. We want to protect ourselves. We don’t want to be disappointed. We don’t want to be hurt. So, we almost always send out negative messages to ourselves and others to cushion the negative blow that we’re convinced is coming back at us. This thinking and planning zaps us of energy we could use for congratulating ourselves for our successes to date. Consistently telling ourselves that we’re not worthy wears down our joy and fun spirit.

What would happen if we made a conscience choice to be our own biggest cheerleader? What if we told ourselves that our talents are very valuable? What if we told ourselves that we deserve the very best….that we are really good people and that we’re proud of ourselves. Discover how freeing it is – you can start today and watch the door to more success open wide.

 


Jan Marino is a social media and reinvention expert. She is also the author of “Take Back Your Career”. She understands the two key concepts that successful organizations have adopted in today’s market: personal branding and listening for client needs. Jan is also a keynote speaker and has appeared regularly on TV and radio. She’s worked with hundreds of clients including McDonald’s, The Northern Trust, Walt Disney Co., and Bank of America. Jan began her career as a receptionist and worked her way up to become a senior executive in the telecommunications and financial services industries. Contact Jan: jan.highgainco@gmail.com.